It is Written

My Friends.

There is a will in man to do right and just for the Universe. I have struggled with the pain of not pursuing this drive for a long time now. The sentiment of it has haunted me, a fear in my stomach of being an old man with nobody to tell my story because there was none.
I have no stories of the men and women whom have died around me. No great things that they accomplished they only surrounded themselves in pain. Drank themselves or smoked themselves to death. I WILL NOT DO THE SAME. Remember me universe for I will shine my light through strength and fear less advance through the dark that once ruled my life and come to realize something for humanity. May grace be with us all.
Tears have been on my face everyday. A smile as well, for it is in this fact that I know now that I am living.
I walked along the ocean today with an old friend and his father taking pictures and stumbling over the rocks as the sun went down in the late afternoon. It seemed so early yet so tranquil. Serenity. I will know serenity. Peace and harmony.
Harmony, not because it is chance but because it is aligned. Aligned by and infinite force which has a role in all things and actions. who am I to interrupt.
My life is changing rapidly and I would like to find a job gathering media. I want to travel. Once again I maybe able to take on the hard ships of social atrocity. I may be able to deal and to heal as a mediator. As I clean up and my head becomes clear issues become solvable and soon my soul will be free to float and do the will and true nature of my spirit. It has been my spirit that has saved me, unrelenting and driving. My spirit, strong and bright will take that flash light and look in to the dark places in my soul and help to solve my issues and medicate them with love and foresight, vision and strength. Please, put your hand on my shoulder and show me the way. I beg of you. I must feel and see. I must understand through experience and learn through life what I must to survive. I will live.

I am having some trouble explaining what i feel right now. my mind is winding with the desire to go on, to help, to serve. I am trying to find it but I know that it will come. It has only been a week since I dove in to this but I have committed to the path and I realize now that this is exactly where I need to be to make all the dreams of my life come true. All the real dreams.