Looking for Work

Hello all,  

Well after stringing together work for almost two years... well maybe more, I'm looking for a permanent position some where to spend my days looking at a monitor and punching keys.  I've tried to fight the establishment and find a way to make an income and allow myself the freedom to collect and distribute media and I have failed.  

In this economy nobody wants to pay to see pictures of places they wish they could be.  More and more people are settling in to their lives, homes, and television shows.  Their IPhone and Internet dating services have become what was once a call to get out I am one of them.  Please, let it snow so I can go to Tahoe and ride my board.  Fuck climate change its screwing all the thrill seekers and killing the economy.  Get the CIA to wack it.  Damn climate change. 

There was a time when I tried to find myself on the tops of mountains all over the world.  Running from my problems because it seemed as though the great mountaineers had it figured out.  They're hard.  I've had to be hard to survive my childhood and now I'm getting older and still living like I'm fighting a ghost.  Ghost can't brawl they just walk through walls and shit. I've become weak from running while I'm supposed to be resting.  I once looked at the city in a negative way, waiting at the door step with my toes curled around the mantle waiting for the gun shot so I could take off up in to the hills on to the rocks and forget the madness that engulfed me while entrenched here in San Francisco.  Well, I have lost that fight.  I have given up.  I am getting sober.

I however, have found some meaning, some strength and even some space from my pain.  Hell, I found myself almost dead here in SF in my house and I'm wondering why I'm not risking my life reporting with a camera and a voice recorder from some remote location in the third world.  Well, the simple answer is that I've become to comfortable with things here and we all have.  

If you've read this far you'll know this is a true rant.  Thank god, its about time.  I've almost died so many times that I'm tired of telling all the stories to new people I meet.  I think its about time that I listen to some stories from others, take their picture and put it online and make it nice and pretty so people will look at it.  That's what I'm good at.  I guess.

Thanks for all the good times, crazy life.  I'll see you when you visit me in my normal life that is healthy and doesn't give me liver damage.  I'll miss you in my subconscious.  

Your Old Friend Who had to Give you Up...

James